What's Next??

Back in Provo once again. In talking to a really close friend last night I realized what my problem is. I'm just straight up restless. I always have to be doing something new, something different, something exciting. I love adventures. Freshman year being in Provo, away at school, meeting new people and doing random things,  WAS the adventure. Two years later... it's just not the same. I'm bored out of my mind. Going to LA a month ago set it off, I think. Although traveling last summer definitely sparked it. All I want to do with my life is travel around and do things that I can't do here. I'm not entirely sure why I'm staying at BYU for Spring Term... I suppose being here and taking just one class and working will have its advantages, but that's only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Friday-Monday I'll be bored out of my mind. I'm trying to talk to my parents about letting me get a Rapid Rewards Visa card from Southwest so I CAN go places and do things and meet people for a whole lot cheaper than I would otherwise, because either way I'm doing it. 

Funny little story... when I open my browser my iGoogle homepage comes up and my horoscope is on there. It's always good for a laugh. Today it said ...

"You may find yourself in a classic Libra moment today, hanging in the balance. You are unable to make up your mind now about your long-term goals. Should you undertake a new course of study or take a trip? Perhaps what you choose is less important than actually doing something big at this time. Although you'll need to acknowledge your current limitations, your life is on the launch pad and ready to blast off."

Interesting. I think it's a sign. I NEED to do something. And no, I'm not justifying myself... I would never do that... uhh.... 

This past weekend going back to LA and hanging out there and hittin' up San Diego was awesome. A much needed break a couple weeks before finals. I often wish I could just transfer down there for a quarter/term/semester/whatever. The entire social dynamic in Southern California is ridiculously different than it is here, or in Utah in general. I love it there. I like being different and standing up for myself, whereas in Provo/Utah/(BYU especially) it's near impossible to stand out. Although I like being in other places with other people, I do feel bad when my  friends do something for my benefit that gets them mocked by their usual crowd... sorry. :/  Thanks for everything, friends. Especially your consideration. 

San Diego was a blast. Balboa Park, the Zoo, Denny's, the weather, the company, and who doesn't like a little road trip? It's amazing how such ordinary things like flowers and animals can be as captivating now as they were when you were really young. Some things never change, and I'm glad. Sleepovers are still fun. And pillow fights. Tickling.. not as much.. haha. But staying up late still makes me a bit loopy, just like old times. (By 'a bit loopy' I suppose I mean somewhat ridiculous and spastic). It was a great trip, and I'm excited to go back down to Sea World and perhaps the Wild Animal Park sometime this summer... 

All in all, I'm pretty darn grateful that I have the opportunity and means by which to do the spontaneous fantastic trips that I've been doing. I'm hoping/planning on a lot more to come in the near future. I already have a list going... :)  

Bottom line... 

I NEED TO GET AWAY. 

I Love to see the Temple...

I love to see the temple, I'm going there someday

To feel the Holy Spirit, to listen and to pray

For the temple is a house of God, a place of love and beauty

I'll prepare myself while I am young;

This is my sacred duty

I love to see the temple, I'll go inside someday

I'll covenant with my Father, I'll promise to obey

For the temple is a holy place, where we are sealed together

As a child of God I've learned this truth, a family is forever

This Makes Me Happy

This song is on repeat. The studio version though...

I'm not a huge American Idol fan, but he is AMAZING. 

Skip ahead to 1:10

I DON'T GET IT

I hate the days that are 'bad days' for absolutely no reason. I've realized that my bad days are also my random moody days. Ya know, when nothing at all is wrong in life but then some miniature side comment from one passing stranger to another just sets of some random inexplicable reaction. Uhhh, irritating. This week I realized that when I'm alone for long periods of time I either 1)get really spastic and end up doing something ridiculous, 2)get really sad for no reason, 3) end up sleeping forever, or 4) make incredibly rash decisions that are generally very poorly thought through and usually involve speaking whatever happens to be on my mind to someone who is important to me and somehow ruining/jeopardizing a relationship or many all at once. 

Basically, it's just bad. 

Don't get me wrong, often times I like being by myself. Doing my own thing, being productive, me-time. It's very important. I like doing thing alone. It's liberating. Holed up in my room, however, knowing I should be doing so many other things but having no motivation whatsoever to accomplish those things, is no good. Random bouts of excitement, irritation, thoughtfulness, jealousy and indifference are exhausting! It doesn't happen very often, but when it does I don't like it one bit. Luckily I have people I can call whenever I want and just rant and ramble on until I feel better. Haha. Thanks guys. 

Hmmm.. perhaps I should clarify. I'm not psycho. I just speak my mind. Kinda like this entire post. It's nearly 1am and when it gets late I just talk. And talk. And talk some more. Pretty much anyone who knows me can vouch for this. ...One of the reasons I didn't want to get a blog. I knew it would turn into Caity's Rant and Ramble! Wee!! 

I think I just realized that the music I listen to plays a really big part in this whole situation. Currently playing is my "slow" playlist. (Getting ready for bed, chill time, you know.) These tend to be either lovey-dovey songs or depressing-anti-lovey-dovey songs. Oops. I'm a lyric person, so all of the songs playing remind me of someone/something/sometime and there goes the nostalgia. Dangittt. Good songs associated with bad experiences are still good songs, so I still listen to them, because obviously I'm kind of a masochist. And an idiot, apparently.

 I should stop that. 

Dang. This is long. Uhhmmm... bedtime. 

Self Proclaimed Spring Breakage

BYU's need for a spring break is ridiculous. Every single student I've talked to has mentioned needing a break from the horrendous amounts of work we have to do this next month-ish. True, our summer starts on April 22, but March and April are terrible months and it's not even worth it. 

I HEREBY DECLARE A PERSONAL SPRING BREAK

Yessss. This time next week I will be flying down to LA to hang out with friends there and go to the San Diego Zoo. Needless to say I'm exceptionally STOKED about this. I will have finished my six, yes, six, midterms this week (for the four classes I have) and submitted my last paper next Wednesday leaving me free to have a stress-less weekend away from Provo. Finally. 

I suppose I'm luckier than most. I was in LA about 3 weeks ago and had a fantastic weekend going to Disneyland, making new friends, bonding with old friends, spontaneously changing plans and staying another day, enjoying the weather and living it up. I guess I just enjoyed myself a little bit TOO much, because now all I want to do is go back. Provo just isn't cuttin' it. It's finally starting to warm up and today was pretty great, but I need a little bit of adventure! I'm bored! 

Things I Would Rather Be Doing Than Studying:

-Road trip 

-Going to LA right now

-At home on my roof

-Sleeping (...check! ha)

-Skydiving

-Bungee jumping

-Backpacking around Europe

-Traveling anywhere

-At a baseball game

-Boating

-Being somewhere in Mexico

-On a safari

-Playing Rock Band

-Redecorating my room

-Shopping with money I don't have

-Movie marathon-ing

-Drawing a picture

-At the beach

-Having a picnic

-Riding a bike

-At a concert

-Having a bonfire in the canyon

-Cooking in a really big kitchen

-At a dance party

-Disneyland!

-Reading a new book

-COUNTLESS OTHER THINGS

That's all. This is the result of procrastination. See how much I need a break?? My brain almost exploded last night because of stress. And the migranes don't help either. 

SPRING BREAK '09 WOO!! 

Seriously?

Currently lying in bed. With my computer on my lap. At 2:46am. I was in bed over an hour ago, but have been woken up repeatedly due to a certain roommate. Let me tell you a bit about her. She enjoys emo music, singing loudly and off-key to said music, making nasty food at 3am that smells up the entire apartment for days, having her boyfriend sleep in her bedroom/share the bathroom/use our utilities/take up room in the fridge for the past month and a half without asking/informing any of us first, swearing loudly, watching outrageously obscene movies in our living room, using power tools at 2am, complaining about how messy the apt is when it is, in fact, ALL HER CRAP. These are merely a few scenarios among many that just make us all so exceptionally excited to be given the opportunity to share our living space with her. What a joy she is in our lives and how blessed we are to have her company. All. The. Time. Because she rarely leaves. If she does happen to breathe fresh air, her kindness extends to returning back at an alarmingly early hour and announcing her arrival with shouts of glee and giggles. 

There is so much love in this apartment that we often feel the need to leave small notes of encouragement to one another lying around. For example, the thermostat is set at 72 degrees (a bit warm for me, but I'm fine with compromise). Any warmer than that and our bill gets to be a bit steep. A certain roommate enjoys playing 'the heater game' and turning it all the way up to 75 degrees! Haha! So silly! I'm pretty good at this game too and am usually the first one to catch it and turn it back down again. Yay me, I win! Never mind the kindly worded "please don't change the temperature" note, we're going to keep playing because this game is just so darn fun! Hooray!

As is apparent, I have taken to ranting in blog form. It's oddly liberating, knowing that I can write whatever I darn well please and others may read it, or not, and think "man, that sucks." Because it does.  I can only hope that someday soon my favorite roommate happens upon this post and thinks to herself, "Wow. I'm really annoying. I should move out." 

A girl can dream, right?