I like the future AND the past! pt. 1

Inspired by Alex's "Screw the future, I like the past" post. 

Part 1.

I happen to really like the future, so we're just gonna reminisce for a bit. 

These are all pre-college pictures that I happened upon recently that I love. We were so cool.. So many memories! But boy oh boy am I glad that time of life is over... And wow it's so hard to pick just a few pictures. Have fun... ha. These aren't in any order either. I forget the sequence of events. Oh well. 

Alex and I would often be found at Nordstrom trying on hats and taking pictures of ourselves. Ohhh the good old days... Some things never change. :)

I LOOOOVE this picture of Alex. 

It's just so darn pretty and so Alex. 

There is nothing not good about this. 

Hahahaha. Chelsea. Love her so much. 

I'm excited to be neighbors next year. 

Like.. sharing a wall neighbors. 

It's gonna be way too much fun.

I kinda feel like I'm asian in this one, but it's cute of me and Sam. 

We were actually in class this day! 

Yay us. Dumb Mr. Lucas didn't even care about us because we were too smart.

 It was awesome. 

Wooo!! Warrior football! We were so supportive.

 This was probably homecoming...? I don't remember.

 But we had fun nonetheless. 

Hey, Alex. Remember that time we were Nordstrom runway models? 

Yeah. BFD. We're hot. 

Tennis party. We got a little crazy. 

My hair looks red in this picture but it's NOT. 

And I'm not stoned either.

This was THREE years ago! Crazy.

 Blake leaving for Argentina on July 6., 2006.

 Grant is now 6' 2" and Sarah is going into middle school.

 Oh, and Blake's getting married. I'm about the same. Huh.

Alex and I at the fair! It was so fun. I like this picture of us a lot. 

It's odd that our eyes always look exactly the same color

 in every picture we take together, but not at all in person. 

This was also the night we were legitimately 

freaked out by the haunted house ride. We cried real tears.

Graduation! I like this one of us as well. 

I think the majority of the pictures on here are of me and Alex. 

Obviously we were somewhat inseparable. Slash still are. :)

Sarah and I at one of her many swim things. I sure love her. 

And how did she get all the athletic/tan/smart genes and I got everything else? 

We drove all the way to Six Flags and it was way closed. 

I don't remember what we did instead, 

but a photo shoot ensued in the back seat. Per usual.

Bahahaha. We all took glamour shots on/around Alex's hot little Saturn. 

Her's was my favorite pose. 

On the ground in front of it. Hahahaha 

I like the future AND the past! pt. 2

Inspired by Alex's "Screw the future, I like the past" post. 

Part 2. 

This is also going to be more of a reminiscent-of-some-good-times post. And just some of my favorite pictures. It's hard to narrow it down! So many awesome memories... 

These are all from BYU freshman year. 06-07.

And there are a lot more on here than I originally planned. 

Oh well. :)

This is one of my favorite pictures from freshman year. I think this was one of the first Sundays and we'd all just started to become really close. We were basically inseparable that year. 

And the next.. and now... 

Natalie, Dannielle, Maggie, Tori, me, and Bianca.

 Aka - Sexy Six. :)

I just like this one because I'm a BAMF. Mind you, this was POST paintballing war. 

Notice no paint on me. I won. Heh.

I LOVE this one. Dannielle and I on a bus to Salt Lake.

Dannielle - "Let's pretend like we're 5 years old!"

Me - "Okay! Can we wear turbans?!"

Thus this picture was born.

We went camping and it was epic. No other camping trip has yet to compare or probably ever will. On the left up there on top of the mountain is ME. Just chillin. I climbed straight up and I was soo proud.

 I didn't even fall!

 ...well.. until I was getting down at least...

Harry Potter midnight premiere. I believe it was the Goblet of Fire. We took SOO many pictures that night! You can't see my shirt but I was DEFINITELY reppin' Slytherin. Alex and I are proving to the world that Slytherin and Gryffindor can live peacefully. 

For now at least... 

Mua ha ha...

I mostly just like my hair in this picture. 

3am dressed up with friends at Denny's = one memorable night.

 And I love that necklace... I should find it... 

I know it's cheesy, but I love it. 

I think we tried this about 8 times.. hahaha... 

We went on an adventure while camping up on Mt. Diablo. 

Through the wilderness... We're explorers.

 It's not a big deal. We just discover things. 

Alex looks evil, Sam is scared/surprised/spastic,

 and I'm just smiling weirdly. Yay us!

I love this picture of Ali. 

We were definitely at the Barnes and Noble midnight release and we both get in the car and read the first page before yelling

 "NO! We have to drive home! Go!!!!" 

Oh Harry. You've brought so much joy to our lives. 

We really liked dressing up. And still do. 

About 90% of the clothes being worn in this picture are mine. 

That I wear/wore regularly. Hmm..

Cousins! Joel, Kimee, Anna, me, Erica.

Love them so much. All of us girls are the same age and it's awesome. 

They're all 6ft. tall though. I'm the littlest. Haha. That's a first.

New Year 06-07. Bree and I are the only sober ones.

 Fun night though!

I think this is when I tried to put out a flame with a 

water bottle only to find out 

that it wasn't water, but vodka. 

Didn't help extinguish the flame. Heh. 

Hahahahaha. Flashback to my emo days. 

This one is more depressing-emo 

than my usual angry-emo. 

Man, I'm good.

I believe we'd been friends about a week and we met these two guys in the dorms and they asked if we'd been to 'rape hill.' We said no, and they offered to show us. We agreed. In retrospect that was probably a bad decision but they ended up being two of our best guy friends. Oh life. :)

And yes that does say "For your safety do not walk alone in this area after dark."

Hence - rape hill.

I adore this picture of us at a BYU fb game. 

Fantastic Four. We're so cute.

Like I said, dressing up is my thing. 

I like this one because my hair is so long 

and this is my favorite dress up outfit - I look legit. 

Oh, and I was always on the phone. Heh.

Nothing

I just got back from a weekend at a friend's cabin down in Southern Utah (real close to Vegas). We did a lot of really fun things, and had a good time all around. After we'd been there for a while I had a realization:

I'm not good at anything. At all.

This isn't a bad realization, necessarily. It's just.. interesting. Because I definitely try a lot of things. 

For example, we rode ATVs around a trail near the cabin and yeah, I've done it before, so not a big deal right? Wrong. I know how to do it all, work the clutch, shift at the right times, listen to the RPMs, etc., but that means nothing. Last time I rode I successfully rolled the ATV a total of four times. That's a 4. F. O. U. R. And that was on sand dunes, nonetheless. I was a bit skeptical of riding again, and wasn't going to do it, but I figured, "hey, it's been awhile, I'll try it again." But not without warning Dannielle and Bianca that I had had a bad experience and ATVs just hate me in general. WELP I was right. Probably about a mile into our ride Dannielle stalled right in front of me, so I stopped to help her out. Long story short, I got back on mine, turned it on, and hit the gas. Apparently it was just SO excited to get goin because holy crap it freakin' took off. I promptly fell off (hit my head on the ground first), and it ran over my foot. Oh, and the ATV kept going. Real fast. Into the woods. OUCH. Soo... instant headache and a fatty bruise on the left side of my body. And my foot hurt. 

That basically sums up that experience. ATVs + Caity = pain. Lots of pain. 

Anyway, yeah, I'm not good at anything. We also went on a little "hike" (walk) over to a waterfall. It was really cool. The whole group of us was there taking pictures and stuff so while no one was looking I went behind a big rock and decided "I'm gonna climb this and it's gonna be awesome." Climbed it. It was cool (less awesome than anticipated). Got almost the whole way down and fell. Scraped up my left arm and have a bruise on top of the ATV bruise. No one saw that little tumble, I'm pretty good at actin cool, haha. But holy crap it hurt. 

So not only can I not ride ATVs (or anything else for that matter), I can't even move either. Many will vouch that I often stumble while walking in a straight line. What else am I not good at? Let's list.

School.

Sleeping. ...at night.

Paying attention.

Eating.

Sports.

Singing.

Being healthy.

...and other stuff. I can't think of them right now. But I might later. Hahaha I'm not good at remembering! There's another. 

I'm okay with this though. Because I still DO all of these things, or attempt, even though I know I suck. That's good, right? I suppose it's only fair to myself if I list some of the things that I think I am good at (even if they're pointless and not helpful to humanity at all)...

Smiling.

Laughing.

Being dumb.

Creepin.

Driving.

Watching TV.

Drawing (sometimes). 

Watching sports.

Talking. 

Reading.

Basically anything that doesn't really mean anything. 

Huh. I don't know what this says about me. I pretend to be good at stuff, but I'm not. This isn't an "I'm insecure and need compliments" post either. I'm not sad that I suck at everything, it's just interesting. I never really thought about. But I'm all talk. Usually I can convince people I know what I'm talking about, because I usually do, but the conceptual knowledge means NOTHING. Haha. Believe me. Some things I know I'm good at... heh heh... but I won't tell what those are. I have a reputation to uphold.  :)

So much to do. Ugh.

Today is the day that everything I haven't been doing piles up so much that I have no idea where to start. So, naturally, I avoid it all and decide to blog instead. Oh college, you've taught me so much about the most effective methods of procrastination. Oddly, I'm not stressed at all about the workload ahead of me today. I know I'll get around to it, so why worry? I very rarely stress about school things, I think it's because I know that whatever happens (what homework I do, how much I study, what grade I receive, etc.) is all based on what I decide to do about it. I stress about things that I can't control. Which seems a bit backwards, I just realized. Okay, wait, clarification: I don't worry about things I can't control, I worry about how the consequences will affect me. I suppose that's a bit more accurate. 

I think I'm just restless. It's weird because a year ago I hated change and really liked everything being consistent and predictable. But since last summer I've completely done away with that and now I'm all about just doing stuff and goin' with the flow. I crave change. I don't need to know what's coming, or what's going to happen. Well, sometimes I do, haha, but generally I'm gettin pretty good at just taking life as it comes and I'm so much happier. Good friends definitely help though. I'm not entirely sure what this post is, mostly just rambly thoughts of a stressed procrastinator. 

Sam gets back from his mission in about three weeks and I'm so so excited. Two years went by much faster than I thought! Now I just gotta hold out 'til my birthday when Austin comes home. Finally my freshman year boys are comin back! It's gonna be a party 24/7.  Yay! Hahaha... this picture makes me laugh every time. It was so late and we randomly made the same face and it was really funny for some reason. Oh Sam. 

And Austin. Haha. We were bored and went to the mall just to mess around. Ended up in a toy store for a couple hours and tried on all the random dress up hats and outfits. It was a good day. Oh, then we saw that movie - Pursuit of Happyness. I didn't really like it. Except that it's set in San Francisco. Anyway, I'm excited for him to come back too. 

I'm not really sure what either of them have to do with anything... hahaha. Once again, just some  thoughts that have been floatin' around for a while. Another thing, I've decided that I want to write music. I've tried before, just some piano stuff back in high school, but I'm gonna try again. But there's no piano here, I just realized. Dangit. I'll just stick to listening to it I guess. I'm good at that. 

Text-able twitter was a bad idea. Now I just do that all the time. I'm trying to hold back, but I just get to bored or mad or anxious and I gotta tweet about it! Hahaha. Especially the past few days. Thinking a lot drives me to twitter-ing more and blogging (obviously). It helps, even if I don't say anything specifically pertaining to what I'm thinking. 

Whoa. Unexpected epiphany. I'm outwardly pessimistically realistic, but secretly illogically optimistic. It's really a bad combination. Hm. That's weird. And dangerous. And stressful. 

Okay that's all. I'm hungry. And I'm not hungry very often so I have to take advantage of this. Even though I probably just wanna eat because I know I have to do work. Ha. Oh well! 

:)

OKAY, so I found this little notebook that I started February 2008 that I had titled "Happy Thoughts - Everyone Needs a Laughing Place." I had written down, and numbered, things that make me smile. I made it for days like today, and it works. I recommend this method to everyone. These are some of my favorites that I had written down - some apply to specific experiences, others are pretty broad. And I added some more recent ones too... haha. 

1. Getting really into a new book.

3. Late-night talks with best friends.

19. Taking walks.

20. Swings.

26. Unexpected phone calls/texts

29. Hearing a good new song. 

36. Driving with the windows down and sunroof open and music blasting.

42. Bonfires.

46. Being impulsive and having it work out.

47. Fresh flowers.

64. Jumping in puddles.

67. Random Spanish phrases.

70. Realizing how lucky I really am.

74. My big brother. And little brother. And little sister.

91. Surprising people. (in a good way)

97. Coffee ice cream.

103. Disneyland. :)

106. A full tank of gas.

113. Best friends who always love you.

116. Baseball games.

121. Bandaids.

134. A new crush.

147. Highlighters.

148. Tape.

156. Scrapbooking.

182. London.

192. Intense Harry Potter discussions.

220. Random photo shoots.

222. Little rebellious things.

232. Doing things by myself.

237. Getting lost.

242. UCLA. 

243. Being sneaky.

244. Anticipating something awesome.

249. The zoo. 

255. Dinosaurs.

256. Blogging.

257. My new lucky necklace.

258. Those buttons on Jeremy's blog. 

259. Planning new adventures.

260. Reading in the park.

261. Cooking. In a dress.

262. Drawing pictures.

263. Singing Disney songs really loud.

264. That picture of the giraffe and the duck.

265. Road trips.

266. Finding this list on a bad day. 

That's about it for now. Obviously I've skipped over quite a few. Nonetheless, I smile. :)

Life sucks, then you die

Okay, so that's a bit dramatic. 

Between yesterday and today my life has taken quite a turn for the worst. Whatever could have gone wrong, has gone wrong and I'm left to fix it. HOORAY!! This will make things more exciting. Except not because there's nothing I can really do about any of it. Let's review:

-potentially not going to LA because of flakey friend.  that's all that's kept me goin these past two weeks. 

-my credit card account is closed because Wells Fargo is run by idiots with crappy customer service.

-failed my test today for the one class I'm taking this term. how? i don't know. i'm just stupid.

-had an interview today but they won't hire me because I'm only going to be here until the middle of June. 

-I have no food and no money to buy any more. luckily I'm not hungry. 

-all my friends are gone for the summer.

-Dannielle is in SF until Wednesday and I'm lonesome.

-I'm about to strangle my friend who insists on telling me to "calm down". H no.

-I wanna go home.

-I still can't sleep like a normal person.

-lack of sleep makes me moody and emotional. 

-you think you know someone. but then they go and prove you wrong. 

-I have a headache. a bad one. 

-I didn't use proper capitalization in this post and I'm too lazy to fix it.

I don't even know what to do right now. I'm kinda shocked actually. I'm usually pretty good at finding the good in stuff.. but right now all I can think of that's good is that I won't spend any more money because I'm not going to get a new credit card until I pay this one off. Yay? Pff. 

Oh life. Why do you do what you do to me? Even though I kinda did all of these things to myself, I guess. But still. DANGIT! That realization didn't help anything. 

I'm thinking about selling plasma. There's a place here that gives you $30 every time you go in and you can do it twice a week. Wow. If you know me then you know I hate everything to do with giving blood/plasma/needles inside me for an extended period of time (especially IVs). This is kind of a big deal. It's actually a really big deal. 

Alex. I love you and that video. It made me smile. Definitely needed, thanks boo. 

Studying

I'm not doing it. Ha. 

-

- Also, my glow-in-the-dark football looks like a huge eye at night. Had dreams that there was a massive dragon looking at me all night.

- Woke up to dead tulips. Depressing.

- I love my lucky necklace. Even if it's not lucky. I still love it.

- I don't wanna fail my test tomorrow, I really need to do well. But it's so freakin' boring to read this stupid textbook.

- I'm ready to drive to LA. I'm sick of Provo and it's lack of people/nightlife. I don't wanna come back on Sunday but Bianca has to be back for class on Monday morning. Boooo.

- Wizards don't even have Google. That would have been SO helpful in the Philosopher's Stone when they're trying to figure out who Nicholas Flamel is.

- Don't even get me started on wizards not having cell phones. Enchanted coins are cool an all, but seriously, cell phones are so much easier.

- I need money. Real bad.

- Happy Mother's Day, mom. I wish I was at home right now.

And those are my thoughts as of right now. My mind is pretty complex, it's not a big deal. I'm a deep thinker.